He Took My Camera

There’s something that happens when you let a child use your camera.  First, you have to get over the fear that said child is going to drop or otherwise break your camera.  Next, you have to be prepared for the pictures said child takes.  Many times they are not focused or have chopped of the heads of their subject.  Fortunately, with digital cameras, those ‘bad’ pictures can be erased.

I am glad Logan took this picture of his daddy’s backside!  I do love some muscular legs!

This one I could’ve erased but didn’t.  I wanted you to be prepared for the next one.

This picture of me is not flattering.  Not in the least.  That’s not what was traumatic about the picture for me though.  Logan took the picture, then looked at the screen of the camera and shuddered.  Shuddered!  In revulsion!

Yes, I’m sweaty and not wearing any makeup and my hair is in a sloppy bun, but come on, boy!  It wasn’t that bad!!!  It wasn’t shudder worthy.

Laughing at Myself and Maybe, Laughing at My Kid

I may have said this before, but my mother is one twisted woman.  She used to make me and my brother stay up late on Friday and Saturday evenings to watch scary movies, ostensibly because she didn’t want to watch them alone.  That’s what she has claimed for years.  She still yells at the characters on any show, knowing full well they won’t change their course of action.  This behavior is absolutely genetic because my Logan does the same.  He can’t sit still while watching a scary movie.

I took the boys to see The Rise of The Guardians last Saturday and then Ed and I both took the boys to see the new Bond movie the following Monday.  You won’t get any spoilers here, but both were absolutely fabulous!  Anyway,  Logan and I spent the entire time during The Rise of The Guardians talking to each other about the show and being surprised by the show.  One of the fabulous things about children’s’ movies is that children are expected to talk during the movie.  As long as the parents occasionally shush their child, you can have a conversation at almost any decibel level.  When we went to see the Bond movie, it was Monday and the theater was almost empty.  Logan sat next to me and, as usual, we talked almost the whole time.  He told me about the different weapons being used and accessories for said weapons.  I would scream and thrust my arms out in a defensive maneuver whenever something startling happened.  Ed would shush us every few minutes.  I wonder how much of the movie Ed actually got to enjoy because that kid and I are very talkative and we both have issues with volume.  Ha!

Anyway,  it dawned on me that there was probably a method to my mother’s madness when she made me and Jacob watch all of those scary movies as children.  It’s funny to watch your children freak out at a scary movie!  It’s funny to watch me watch a scary movie because I freak out!  It’s really funny to watch Logan jump up and down while watching anything which might be classified as mildly startling.

I suggested this theory to my mother.  She told me I was wrong.  She said I couldn’t have been more wrong.  She said she had us watch those movies so we could be prepared for whatever might happen.  It’s a dangerous world out there and we needed to know what could happen.  I think she’s got an interesting cover story.  She said she’d never laugh at any of her children and really, she probably wouldn’t.  I, however, am not quite like my mother.  I find many things my children do hilarious.  And when they’re adults, I plan on telling them all about the funny things they did as children.

They Have A New Goal

“Oh my gosh, mom!  I saw a green sparkle in your ring and I finally figured out what it means!”

That was what Logan said to me as Ed drove us to dinner.  (This going somewhere to eat a meal is a recurring theme in our lives.)  He meant my wedding ring.

“What?” I asked, because, really, who wouldn’t be confused by that?

“Your ring!  I finally figured out what it does!  It gives you super powers over Dad!”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, that’s why he can’t get away from you!”

It’s good to know that escape from me is the goal.

You Can’t Always Be The Favored Parent

Ed and the boys and I went out for lunch today, like we frequently do for lunch on the weekends. 

 (Because I’m an awesome cook.  I used to have a cooking blog.  Apparently, you need to be able to cook if you’re going to have a cooking blog with any content.)

Anyway, it was apparently Ed’s turn to be Logan’s favorite parent and Trip was completely indifferent and ignored us completely.  When Ed is either boys favorite parent, it turns into an all out boys-are-better-smear-campaign.

Logan started listing all of my faults (and they were many).

“Mom doesn’t let me play on her ipad or the ipad 2 or Wii or dsi or PS3 or on her cell phone.”

(This child is clearly neglected.  How could I not have more video games for him?)

“Logan, weren’t you grounded from video games for a week because of something that happened last weekend?”

(He completely ignored me and kept going with my faults.)

“She makes me sleep on the floor and doesn’t let me have any blankets.”

(Never. At some point, you just have to laugh at the funny shit your kid says.)

“And she doesn’t love me!”

(The last one was said with a dramatic flourish and volume and thank God there weren’t many people in the restaurant other than the many waitresses who knew us by name and always laugh at the boys antics.)

Ed chimed in, “Oh my goodness, boy, how can you live with such cruelty?”

(Ed is awesome like that.)

(Trip sat quietly coloring his picture menu even though he hates to color.)

 

At some point, my cackle will get so loud that I’ll be asked to leave a restaurant.  It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a reason we go back to the same few restaurants over and over.

Logan the Story Teller

I worked my usual shift at the hospital the other night and came home to a husband and children who had not eaten and were in agreement that we needed eggrolls for dinner.  Luckily, such a feast was available at the Chinese buffet, so we hopped into Ed’s Tahoe and he sped down the highway.  It was almost 8:00 in the evening, so it had just gotten dark.  Ed passed a UPS truck on the highway and then exited at the necessary exit.  The UPS truck followed us.  It followed us onto the access road and then down a really dark and quiet road that would eventually take us to the Chinese buffet.  While we were on that road, Logan started talking about the van following us.

  Oh my gosh!  There’s a robber following us.  Dad, here’s the plan:  first, you’re going to pull over.  Then, you and mom are going to pretend that you’re dead.

I turned to look at Ed, trying to hold in the laughter.  “What?” I asked.

 Then Trip and I are going to get out of the car when the robber stops behind us.  Trip, you are going to punch him in the stomach.  When he’s down, I’m going to punch him in the head and make his eyeball pop out.

(I was beaming with pride at my munchkin’s imagination.)

  When it’s safe again, Trip and I will let y’all know that it’s okay and you can stop pretending to be dead.

Me:  Hey Logan, don’t you think that since Daddy is bigger than you guys that maybe we should let him handle all of the bad guys?

Logan:  Dad’s not bigger than we are!  Besides, we are way tougher than he is!

Me:  Oh that’s right!  Dad is on 6’4″ and together, you boys are 8’2″! 

Logan: See Mom,  I told you so!

 

And I am one proud Momma!  One day, he might be selling his bad guy stomping services out to the highest bidders!

My Blue Eyed Boy

Have you ever had one of those weeks that was just so busy you didn’t know if your head was still screwed on straight?  How about three in a row?  It has been crazy around here!  The boys’ school semester is coming to a close and, hopefully, our summer schedule will straighten out into something resembling normal.  I can’t wait to enjoy lazy summer days with my favorite guys.  We have zoo trips and days at the pool planned.  Evenings will be filled with reading the Harry Potter series.  Mornings will be spent investigating the slowly growing garden for vegetables ripening.  But until those magical summer days arrive, I’m leaving you with more crazy face pictures from Logan.

First up is the obligatory fake smile.  I beg and beg for a real smile and never get one that lasts long enough for a picture to be taken.

Logan absolutely loves the pictures which give him red eyes.

He’s so full of attitude!  I have no idea where he gets it.

So he looks like he’s had a bit of a stroke here, but how gorgeous are those baby blues?

He’s a goofy boy and was very proud of the hand spectacle he made for himself.

Texas Rangers Tuesday game!

We took the boys to the Texas Rangers game Tuesday against the LAAAA of A.  We had a pretty good time.  The boys are now able to pay attention to about three innings of a game which is a big improvement.  Trip had nachos (with NO jalapenos!) and Logan had two hotdogs and they filled a soda pop full of floaties.  Thunder storms rolled through DFW but the game was not rained out and we didn’t feel a drop of rain during the game.  The boys stayed awake for the whole game and even walked to the car afterwards.  The boys really have no choice but to walk to the car after any event because they are way too heavy to carry anymore.

Logan should be in movies because this picture was totally staged.   I enjoy taking pictures, but I’m not good enough with an iPhone camera to take that picture as an action shot!

This one is an action shot.  All three of my guys paying attention to the game!  Magical!

Cute, but fake smile.  Trip is so ready to start losing his baby teeth so the tooth fairy can visit him.  It’s just not happening yet.

We obviously dress to the nines when we go out! 🙂

There was this really handsome guy sitting three seats down from me and he smiled when I was taking a picture of my kid.

The stadium looked great.  They have a new jumbo screen that is ENORMOUS!  They’ve put in quite a few new kinds of food stands that I can’t wait to try when I’m not looking after munchkins.  It was a great family night.

Boys Playing

Hey Trip, can I take your picture on this gloriously beautiful spring day?

How about with a smile and open eyes?

No smiles. Okay. How about with a pout and your back to me?

That’s better.  I’m glad you can follow directions.  Now smile and turn your head completely away from me.

Very good!  Now give me a weird little look and hide your mouth.  I want your face to say, “Mom, you’re bothering me.  I’m contemplating the great mysteries of the universe.”

Yogie, how about you, son?  Can Mommy have a smile?

No smiles?  Okay.  How about a tongue roll?

Awesome!  How about a goofy face after I’ve had time to get the camera into focus?

You little munchkin!  That was a smile.  I wanted a crazy face.  Give me crazy and in focus!

So much better!!

We’re having an early spring here in Texas!  The temperatures have reached the 60’s and 70’s everyday, which does indeed mean that I’ve been able to wear shorts and sandals.

He looks HOT!

Mute Monday? Nah.

Do you remember back to your own childhood? Whenever you saw a pair of adult’s sunglasses, you’d put your grubby little hands all over the lenses before you’d put them on, leaving them gunked up until the aggravated owner cleaned them?  Aren’t you glad that there weren’t camera phones around back then?  Because  I KNOW I looked hot, and I’m sure he knows he looks hot now, but I can prove that he didn’t look hot and the same can’t be said about my hotness.  Sometimes, it’s good to be old.

Another Awesome Picture for the Photo Album

“Logan, can you please just take one good picture with your uncle?”

Obviously, that would be a no.   Fifteen pictures later, this is one of the better ones, partly because my brother is unable to keep his eyes open when a picture is taken.  It’s genetic.