The Birds and The Bees and Other Parenting Mistakes

Way back when the boys were tiny, I was of the opinion that they should use the anatomically correct terms for their body parts.  By the time they were 18 months old, they knew they had a penis.  I thought they were so cute!  I did not anticipate them a couple of years later asking about my penis.

“I don’t have a penis,” I told them.

“What do you have?” they asked.

“Not a penis,” I told them.

This parenting thing is hard.

Then they asked me where they had come from.  It’s a question all kids inevitably ask.

“You grew in my belly.”

“How did we get out?

“The doctor cut you out.”

This parenting thing is easy!  I’m so glad I had a C-section!

But what happens when you tell your cherubs that the doctor cut them out of your belly?  Their next logical question is “What did you feed us when we were in your belly?”

When you answer with something about blood and nutrient transfer, their eyes glaze over.  They come up with their own answer.

“You fed us your poop!”

“Um, no.  There was a nutrient transfer between my blood system and yours.”

“You’re making that up, Mom.  You fed us poop.  I’m smarter than my brother though, so I stopped eating the poop and that’s why my brother was bigger.”

“Why did you feed us poop, Mom!?!?!”

I was speechless.

Whenever they want to point out my parenting cruelty now, they start with, “You fed us poop in your belly!”

This parenting thing is hard!


3 thoughts on “The Birds and The Bees and Other Parenting Mistakes

  1. Oh, my God! Kids come up with the best answers and logic to things and go in directions we’d never be smart enough to go in!

    That is hysterical!! You KNOW those boys will NEVER let you live this down!

  2. Your conversation with your boys just made my day! This is so funny! I can’t wait for my little one to be so witty like your boys and we’ll exchange funny conversations like this one, lol. Don’t you worry though, they’ll learn a lot more as they grow older. Some things that may be hard for you to explain is usually supported by what is taught at school. You just need to guide them throughout.

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