1. Rock-Paper-Scissors will settle any and every debate.
Who has better looking children? Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Who is smarter? Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Who is loved more by mom? Rock, Paper, Scissors!
By dad? Rock, Paper, Scissors!
Who will win the first Nobel Peace Prize? Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock! (We watch a lot of Big Bang Theory.)
The list goes on and on.
2. When you see a man with a scar from the corner of his mouth all the way up to his forehead, a knife in one hand, and a chain mail glove, say hi. Chances are he’ll be very nice.
3. Apparently, the appropriate thing to say after one farts is, “You’re welcome, Mommy!”
Also, my boys are evil demons!
4. Time still passes when you’re on vacation. Some times, it passes faster than you expect. We got back home in time to see the annual killing of the corn crop. Every stalk of corn that was green when we left was dry, withered, and brown. I understand that insurance will pay a certain amount for crops that don’t produce, but you’d think after watching corn die year after year, they would look for something that actually grows in the area. Can dead corn actually be used for anything?
5. When little boys spend almost two weeks in the back of an SUV, it’ll smell like a dorm room.
Does it matter that my boys are still in single digits? No. It smelled like dirty feet.
It took two weeks for that smell to dissipate.
Also, we had a great time!!