Relearning To Swim

The boys and I went swimming at a local pool with some friends recently and well, I’m a bit of a slacker mom at times and they hadn’t been swimming in about 10 months.  Shame on me!  I told them on the way there that they had to prove to me they could still swim before they could go in the deep end by swimming two laps across the shallow end without stopping.  It’s a good thing I made them try swimming laps first because they had forgotten almost everything they once knew!  Logan, who is my extrovert and who insists on being the center of attention, especially when in a crowd, barely spoke to anyone for an hour and a half because he was busy retraining his body to swim.  Nothing was going to deter him from becoming a good swimmer and nothing did.  Trip remembered fairly quickly how to swim and became the center of attention.

He is now, and I suspect always will be, a ladies man.

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It’s hard getting munchkins to look at the camera when they’re having a good time!

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Yogulous was so proud of himself when he finally was confident in his swimming skills!

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Two of my girlfriends were there and we all have kids in the same class.  They were both life guards in their teens and kept a constant eye on the boys.  All together, we had seven kids there and I must have counted to seven a million times, but every second was fun!

I Am A Slacker, But I Finally Have Florida Pictures

I am a total slacker.  At least, some times I am.  I have hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures waiting to be put into albums.  I’m pretty sure that means I take too many pictures.  It’s not likely to change any time soon.  I took a ton of pictures in Florida too.  Florida is where Jacob and I were headed when we rode next to each other on the airplane.

We went on a really weird sort of family trip.  It was weird in that the vacation, which started out as just a girl’s trip for only me and mom,  ended up including me, mom, and both brothers.  We haven’t taken a vacation like that in almost fifteen years.  Why?  Because of Ed.  I got married. I had kids.  It just didn’t happen again.

It was weird for me too in that I was the child instead of the parent on the vacation.  I had no one dependent on me to wake up and make breakfast for them.  (Not that my munchkins are dependent on me for breakfast now.  They’re kind of independent and totally awesome.  They can peel their own bananas!)  So every morning, or whenever I decided to wake up, I woke to the smell of bacon cooking and coffee brewing.  Absolutely wonderful!

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Mom and I walked on the beach several mornings.

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It rained five of the seven days we were there, but usually not for long, except for the day Tropical Storm Andrea rolled through.

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Mom and I walked along the beach in the evening too.  Brian and Jacob were never interested in just strolling along the beach.  Weirdos!

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Sand Mermaid!  They’re real!

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Jacob and I might have enjoyed an adult beverage or three.  I might have enjoyed an adult beverage on the beach.  I know red wine is not what most people drink when they drink on the beach, but it was what I wanted so it was what I drank.

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Mom’s jacked up foot gets better tans than I do!

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Mom, Brian, and I went on an air boat ride through the Everglades.  We had a picture taken of the three of us, but my eyes were closed and I deleted the picture.  Shocking, I know.

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We saw alligators!  And vultures!  Birds and plants too.

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The vultures were on the aptly named Vulture Island.

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B-Dog held an alligator!

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On our last day to swim, Brian and I went snorkeling together while Mom and Jacob stayed in the condo.  We wanted to see some sort of sea life during our stay and hadn’t seen any at all!  The water got to chest high for us pretty quickly, which really isn’t saying much because we are not tall people, but it stayed that deep for quite a bit.  We swam out to the buoys and still didn’t see anything.  We kept on swimming because the water wasn’t very deep.  Visibility wasn’t great, but it was some of the best visibility that the water had had while we were there. So we were swimming and snorkeling and we knew we were getting to some pretty deep water.  We were not paying attention to how far out from shore we were getting.  Both of us had our snorkeling masks down, looking for any form of sea life at all when suddenly, there was movement.  Massive movement.  It was a giant sting ray the size of a car hood!  The diameter was at leave 5 feet across!  I freaked out!  Brian wanted to stay and look for it.  I insisted we get back to shore.  Big sisters win this kind of argument.  Then we realized just how far out we had swum.  Oh my goodness!

Brian lamented that we didn’t have an underwater camera.  I was grateful neither of us got stung by the sting ray.

And then we came home.  I was tired of everyone and missing my babies and sweet husband desperately.  I was tired of not being the mom.  A week away from my babies is definitely too long for me!

My Boy. He’s Disgusting. So Are Tongues.

When I was five years old, Mom told me I needed to have my frenum clipped.  The frenum is the piece of tissue that connects the bottom of your tongue to the bottom of your mouth.  Mine was apparently too long and may or may not have caused a speech impediment.  I have absolutely no memory of having a speech impediment, but apparently Mom did have a speech impediment which is why she had her own frenum clipped.  Apparently.

Anyway, I distinctly remember Mom telling the five year old me that she had to wait until she was twenty years old to get her frenum clipped and it was horribly painful because she had waited so long and she didn’t want me to have the excruciating pain at twenty, so she was going to get mine done before it would be that painful.

(She was always comforting like that.  She also told me I wouldn’t be able to eat solid food for a week after having my wisdom teeth pulled.)

So my boys’ Oma took her five year old baby girl (FIVE YEARS OLD!)  to the oral surgeon.  I distinctly remember sitting VERY still in the surgery chair while mom stood nearby telling me that if I moved, I would cause the oral surgeon to slip with whatever instruments of destruction he was using in my mouth which would lead to irreparable harm.  Naturally, I was calm.  I was definitely still.  I remember him poking sharp instruments in my mouth and through that piece of tissue under my tongue and telling me in a low voice that he had to poke a needle in the skin and then make a jagged rip or else the tissue would simply grow back together.  Terrifying, no?

After the ripping of tissue under my tongue, Mom drove me 45 minutes back to day care and dropped me off.  In my mind, she might have told me that I was a big girl and I could open the door to the day care and let myself in.  I remember the fresh wound in my mouth opened at some point during the day and rinsing the blood out with water from the water fountain.  What else could I do?  It’s not like I had taken the gauze I had been given into day care with me.

Mom recalls things slightly differently.  She says she took me into the day care center and explained what had been done and they fed me popsicles all day.  I don’t remember a single popsicle.

This story gets better.  I am working in surgery now and there was a Frenuloplasty on the schedule a couple of weeks ago.  People go under general anesthesia to have their frenum clipped!  They don’t simply get a local anesthetic and then call it a day!!

I promise it gets better.

And possibly less gross.

Or not.

Since having my frenuloplasty, I have a Gene Simmons type tongue.  It rolls out of my mouth forever!  Mom and I compared tongues the other day (perfectly natural!) and Mom’s tongue barely goes past her lips!

The frenuloplasty at work really bothered me and I have been thinking about tongues a lot.  At lunch with Ed and the munchkins last weekend, we started sticking out our tongues at each other.  Ed might have simply rolled his eyes and refused to play along.  Fortunately, munchkins are good with being gross.  Trip’s tongue is long like mine, but in a normal sense on long.  Logan’s tongue is freakishly long!  I asked him if he could touch his nose with his tongue and HE TOTALLY CAN!!!

I cackled loudly in a restaurant packed with people.  Ed was not amused with my uncontrollable volume.  I’m not sure why.  You’d think he would be used to my volume by now.  Ed made a remark about Logan’s tongue that I didn’t want Logan to ask about, so I changed the topic quickly.

“Logan,” I said.  “I bet you could even pick your nose with your tongue!”

The little dude tried it and if anything had been within tongue’s reach, he would have gotten it.

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Little Itty Bitty Baby Boy Pictures That May Make You Want To Spawn New Kids

I have been cleaning out closets and cabinets and drawers (and will probably continue this for several more months because I was pregnant when we moved into this monstrously large house and have never organized it in any kind of fashion that makes sense for a normal person or organized it at all for that matter) when I found an old SD card for my digital camera.  I had misplaced my current SD card also (can you see a trend here), so i was really excited and surprised to find the old SD card.  I had thought that this old one had gone where all the old socks go when the dryer eats them.  So I popped the old SD card into my camera and started snapping away at the boys.  Then I realized that I still had lots and lots of pictures on the SD card!  And they were baby pictures of the boys!  And OMG I make some pretty babies!  Okay, Ed may have had something to do with their looks.  Or maybe just Logan’s looks.

I think the boys were around two years old here.  I just want to pick them up and squeeze them and hold on to them forever!

Christmas morning, 2006

 

Christmas 2006 with Gingerbread men from their godparents

Logan asked me tonight if he had gotten upset because of the juice he had spilled on his shirt.  I told him he had not once in his life ever been upset about getting food on his clothes, but hopefully that day will come one day.

OMG! The fuzzy hair is too much!

I think these are from Christmas when they were almost four years old.  Those smiles are so sweet!

And Ed, when you read this, I really don’t want any more children!  I just have fond memories of our babies.  I don’t think any other babies could be any more perfect for us.

Fun with Cats

Logan and Trip recently turned seven.  Their actual birthday sucks because it’s right after school resumes from the Christmas holiday and none of their friends or their parents would be able to remember a birthday so close after Christmas.  At least I presume that’s the case since I usually forget to schedule their birthday party until well after their actual birthday.  I’m punctual like that.  I was a week late for my own birth, I think I can be forgiven for scheduling my boy’s birthday party a couple of weeks late.  I think it should even be expected. 

Starting back in early December, the boys started asking for remote control helicopters.  They asked anyone and everyone who would listen and even a few strangers.  If I had taken them to see Santa, where they would be taught that it’s acceptable to sit on some strange man’s lap, to have their picture taken and asked what they wanted for Christmas, they surely would have said they wanted a remote control helicopter.  (Or maybe I just find the idea of standing in line for half a day for a cheap picture of some strange guy in a suit with my kids to be very low on the list of priorities.)  They wanted lots of other toys.  In fact, they may have fallen victim to the endless commercials they saw on television in the week they were out of school before Christmas.  But the toy they mentioned over and over and over was that remote-controlled helicopter.  There was no room for an unplanned toy under the tree this year.  Why?  Because we had already gone overboard and I don’t want them to get every single toy they ask for.  So the munchkins woke on Christmas morning to find lots of toys and no helicopter.  Oma didn’t bring one either.  The poor dears.

So time passed and they kept asking for that helicopter.  They knew their birthday was fast approaching and so they would mention the helicopter to anyone who would listen.  They are a couple of persistent munchkins.

Today, we finally had their birthday party.  It was a fantastic affair held at our usual spot at the local mall in their party place.  The boys were ecstatic.  Ed and I finally wised up and did not request that people not bring gifts because the boys were still overwhelmed from Christmas presents.  We learned that lesson well last year.  They might have been overwhelmed when they were younger, but now they expect presents at their birthday party.  And they received tons of fantastic presents this year.  My kitchen floor is covered with the packaging from these gifts.  The gifts they were most excited to receive however, were  the remote-controlled bugs from Oma.  They look a bit like cockroaches to me, but they were the first gifts out of their packaging.  After a brief plug-in, the boys played with them for 37 seconds and then they were ready to move on to bigger and better toys.  They received four video games today and such extravagances must be addressed.  So the blue electronic cockroaches were left on the floor, their controllers on my desk in the living room, completely abandoned by the boys.  What’s a mother to do?  There’s only one thing to do!  Play with the cat! 

 Hunter the cat is the most awesome cat ever!  He thought he was a dog until he was a year old and we got our black cat, Penelope.  He still plays like he’s a dog though.  The electronic bug was perfect for him.  I set them both down on the floor and started figuring out the controller.  That’s a difficult thing for a woman of my advanced age!  So there I was, playing with my boys new toy and Hunter sauntered into the room.  His ears perked up as he heard a strange clicking on the wood floor.  His eyes darted back and forth, watching the movement.  He stepped forward cautiously, unsure of what these strange creatures were.  Surely they were something tasty to eat.  And then, they stopped moving.  Hunter moved bravely closer, trying to figure out if this new creature was edible.  He’s on the genius end of the spectrum when it comes to cats and he figured out pretty quickly that these things were not food.   

So I spent  half an hour playing with my boys new toys, which they had grown tired of in a mere 37 seconds.  The bugs go back and forth and in circles in either direction.  As long as the bugs stay close enough, one controller will work both bugs.  The best part is leaving the bugs still for a few minutes and then, when Hunter isn’t paying attention, making the bugs crawl towards him and watching Hunter jump with the sudden  movement.