Children are remarkable in their ability to read people. They intuitively know who to ask questions. They know when it is okay to misbehave. Why do your children act like angels at school only to break down and have a temper tantrum with you? Because they feel comfortable enough to be themselves with you! Be grateful when your children know your love is unconditional! They know with whom they can let their guard down. And with that little rant, I have a funny little story about my boys for you.
My little munchkins have led a remarkably normal life with no major family events taking place in the 6 1/2 years they’ve been alive. They also attend school with a bunch of kids who are in stable homes with comfortable incomes. It sounds idyllic, but really, kids need to see some of the other side of life, just so they know what can happen. Can a set of divorced parents provide a stable and loving home for their children? Of course. Do mine know about it? Not at all. Ed and I do show the boys that a marriage takes work, but I don’t think it means much to them yet. They are however, very observant…
My mother takes the boys at least once a week, either for us to go on a date or because Ed and I are both working late. When Oma picks them up, she likes to take them to IHOP. She insists they share a salad and eat some vegetables and then they share a dessert and everyone ends the evening happy. Depending on how hungry everyone is and how much day light is left, there is also a trip to a local park, either before or after their dinner. Being together so often has created a very strong bond between the three of them and there is a fantastic level of trust that has developed. So a few weeks ago, Oma took them out to eat and they bombarded her with questions. The first one was “Where is your husband?” Oma is divorced. She tried explaining divorce to the boys, but her explanation was not sufficient for them. The conversation about her marital status apparently lasted all through dinner and they still weren’t happy with her explanations. The conversation only ended because I picked them up from her house.
The funniest thing to me was that they never asked me one question about Oma’s husband (or my father). Not before or after their conversation with Oma. Divorce is not a topic we’ve refused to talk about with the boys. It just had never come up.
Munchkins are amazingly observant and every once in a while, they will absolutely knock your socks off.