So I got my boys reading history partially right in the last post. My kids are 6 years old. I forget some of the stuff that happens. That’s why I blog, so I can remember all of the funny things they say and do.
My mom, aka Oma, watches the munchkins fairly regularly so Ed and I can go out and occasionally when we have to work late. Ed’s parents also watch the boys, but the stories that come from those excursions are somehow never quite as colorful as they are when Oma watches the boys. After this story, you might think that is something in favor of the in-laws.
So my mom is watching the boys one night and I get home around 9:00. I walk in the door knowing that they’ve been fed and bathed. My mom had bought a couple of Goose Bumps books for the boys and was determined to read these chapter books to the boys no matter how much they objected. They have this way of looking up at you while also looking down their nose at you so they can tell you once again that they don’t do something, like read chapter books. I have no idea where they got this. None, at all. I’m fairly certain my poor mother got that look several dozen times along with an exasperated sigh. I also have no idea where they got the sigh. But my mother can come up with some fairly ingenious ideas when it comes to dealing with contrary children. She stuck them in the bath tub together, gave them a couple of bars of soap and some toys and began reading. They were a captive audience. Awesome job, Oma!
Oma’s opinions about exposing children to the macabre are a bit unusual, I think. That, or I’m just so scarred from my childhood Friday nights with Gilbert Godfrey’s Up All Night that I refuse to believe anything else. I’m pretty sure my mom is odd, but in the best way possible. Oma thinks that all children need to experience a good scare as often as possible. Scary books right before bed? Yes, every night. Scary movies every weekend? Absolutely. Visiting haunted hotels and houses? Definitely. Telling ghost stories under the blankets with a flashlight to illuminate the story tellers face? Don’t you dare leave it out.
So I came home that night with the boys fed and bathed. I also came home early enough that they were still awake. Yay for good night kisses! I started up the stairs and Oma immediately calls out that they’ve been reading Goose Bumps. If you get the immediate call out, you should know something is up. Trip met me halfway down the stairs and asks, “Mom, are you a whore?”
I said, “Mom, what have you been reading to the boys???”
“He means horror! We’ve been reading Goose Bumps! ”
“Trip,” I said, “It’s pronounced HOR-ROR!”
We all spent the next twenty minutes correctly pronouncing horror while Oma filled us in on the story she had been reading to them. Oma still has some trouble saying horror.