I have a difficult time accepting change. If given a proper amount of time to get myself ready for said change, I’m fine, but I don’t like change thrust upon me. I’ve slowly learned this about myself. It’s taken years. I literally have to start preparing myself for my birthday and the fact that I’ll be another year older months in advance. (By the way, I’ll be 33 in September. I accept all forms of gift cards. Thank you in advance.) I have to prepare myself that my boys will turn another year older (every January) starting right after I have my birthday. I’m just weird like this and I’ve accepted my weirdness. What is a little difficult to accept is that I made a kid with issues just like mine. Ok, so I have a lot of issues. I made a kid with this issue.
I need to start at the beginning. The boys go to a private Montessori school. (It’s fantastic. If there’s a good one near you, I’d recommend you look into it.) The school was fairly new when they started going to morning classes at the tender age of 17 months old. They went through a few teachers each until the school found the perfect teachers. So there were my 2 year olds, newly introduced to the teachers they still have today. Why do they have the same teachers they met 4 years ago? Because each boy had a teacher move into the next age group as they aged up. (I’ve had the boys in separate classes since they started school. I figured I had made the decision to marry Ed and if I had to spend every waking minute with him, we would have had a Smith & Wesson divorce by now and the boys have had no say in the decision for them to be in the womb together and should get to spend some time every day apart. Yes, did just win the award for the longest run-on sentence ever written. Thank you.)
So anyway, boys-separate classes-teachers moving up with them-been there a long time. I knew things were going to get difficult for the boys when kindergarten started because many of the kids would leave private school for public school kindergarten. Private school is expensive, even if it is well worth it. My sensitive child, apparently, is Trip. He was the most affected by the loss of classmates, either by them moving up to the lower elementary class or going on to private school. We spoke nightly about the changes that would be taking place for him. And as he grew more comfortable with the changes that had taken place, our talks petered out and then stopped all together.
And then I spoke with the principal of the school. The plan for my kids (and all of the other kids at the school) is to start visiting the older class as each individual student becomes ready. The “Lower Elementary” class is comprised for first, second, and third graders. The usual course for kindergarteners is to start visiting in the spring of their kindergarten year. They visit for one morning or afternoon per week for a few weeks, then move up to a full day per week for a few more weeks, until they are simply in lower elementary full time. For the visiting to take place, one must walk into the lower elementary classroom. Trip has now been invited to simply accompany one of his teachers into the lower elementary room to pick up some item and immediately go back to his comforting preschool room several times. And Trip adamantly refuses to climb the steps into the new room.
Trip and I had a long talk this evening about what would happen when he went to visit the elementary class, who and what he would see. He’s still very apprehensive. In the end, we decided that I would call his teachers and ask them to take Trip over to the class so he could see it. In our plan, he will not have to speak to anyone, will not have to do any “work,” or do anything other that look around the room and see who is there, where they are, what they are doing, and how they are doing it.
And as a back up, I’m going to go with him after school on Thursday to check it all out. It’s not like he can stay in kindergarten forever.
On a side note, earlier this year, I started talking to the boys about going away to college and then getting a master’s degree or doctorate degree when they reach adulthood. You can never be too prepared for this kind of thing and I will need lots and lots of advanced preparation. Wish me luck.