When I was five or six years old, my father produced not one but two huge boxes wrapped in gorgeous Christmas paper for my mother. I remember being very excited for my mother, fantasizing about all of the wonderful things that could be in those boxes. I may have caressed said boxes. Christmas morning finally came and my mother finally opened those wonderful boxes and it was a freaking vacuum cleaner!! I was pissed! I had imagined furs and jewels and all kinds of fantastic things awaiting my excited mother in those boxes. Not a vacuum cleaner. I’m getting mad right now just thinking about those boxes. My mother probably knew what was in the boxes. I don’t remember her becoming indignant or even moderately irritated.
Fast forward to seven years ago. I’m married to a wonderful man and he routinely goes all out to make sure my Christmas wonderful. His family tradition involved making sure his mother opened enough gifts each Christmas that the cats and dogs didn’t feel compelled the next year for all of them to give his mother Christmas gifts in addition to what my father and father in law give her. Fortunately, they fear what the cats and dogs would do if I didn’t get enough packages to open! So Christmas morning seven years ago, I’m opening my presents and the husband and father in law have obviously done a large part of their shopping at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. One of my presents that year was a hand-held vacuum cleaner.
I didn’t say anything about it that day to Ed. Or that week. I did go to work and bitch about how Ed had inadvertently been a little unsympathetic. I may or may not have used stronger words. I never said anything about it to Ed, but my coworkers sure did! He was caught off guard as I’d never told him about the vacuum cleaner my mother had received.
Three years ago for Christmas, Ed gave me a motorized bathroom cleaning device and a six-pack of toilet paper. There was some jewelry hidden in with it, but still, a motorized bathroom scrubber?!?!?!!?!?!?!?! For my birthday this year, he gave me a self heating mop. I don’t even clean my own house. I write out the check every week! Fortunately for his health and safety, he does hide something nice in with every cleaning utensil he gives me.
This year, there were no cleaning supplies. Instead, Ed watched me every time we went out shopping together to see what I liked but wouldn’t buy for myself.
Did you get or give any bad gifts this year? Any really good gifts?